It's a beautiful day. I feel much better.
I've been reading this book (in Japanese), titled "disease Named Myself." I'm not sure if the translation is accurate. The author is a Japanese 47-year-old woman novelist. This book is a non-fiction about her 3-day trial experience of working as a sex-worker. She did it "to know if I'm still a sexually attractive woman men are willing to pay for."
.......I wrote the previous paragraph yesterday and then went for a lunch with my friend Y. The lunch was very good. Y took me to a small Peruvian-Mexican restaurant near Kst & Vermont. We ordered very tender grilled chicken with rice, beans and salad. Yummy. The price was less than $6.
We talked about the book I was reading (I finished it last night). The author said that many straight men misunderstood or justified themselves by believing that women wear mini-skirts or body-fitting outfits in order to seduce men. Not really, she said. Most women wear sexy outfits because they want to feel good about themselves or want other women to envy. I agree with her. I sometimes wear minis or sexy stilettoes because I want to feel good for myself. It's not for men, not even for my husband. I don't like my face, hair, big arms, small boobs, big thighs, big butt, but I like my legs. That's why I wear minis and stilettoes.
The author recollect when she was 20-something, an old man touched her thighs at a bar. She said "please stop." Then this man went, "why do you wear mini-skirt, then?" Those men use the same excuse when they rape women. Unfortunately, even some women blame rape victims for wearing "slutty outfits." That's wrong! It's a attacker who should be blamed. You can't rape women just because they wear sexy clothes.
Anyways, I've decided to take additional Pilates class starting this Saturday. From 8:00am. Gah. I was shocked to see my butt in a mirror in a fitting room of H&M the other day. I found cellulite! Aghhhhh! I know my face is not beautiful. I think it's fair to say my body is better than my face. Since I can't change my face (I don't want plastic surgery) , at least I want to try to improve my body line. I don't believe inner beauty changes appearance. Body and mind are two different things. I want to be a better person, but also want to be a better looking person. To feel better.
BTW, the Japanese new cabinet was formed yesterday. As conservative as Bush administration. Hmm. Maybe it's not time for me to go back to Japan.
The photo is a sunrise at the Virginia beach from a hotel room.
1 comment:
what was her experience in the end? i think it's also common for men to think that women become prostitutes because, "they want to sleep with as many men as possible." (stupid male fantasy) so they think it's OK to insult those women and rape them. have you seen "monster"? it was such a distrubing, but i think realistic, movie. but i often find the experience of women who try out the sex worker life for fun quite interesting.. so tell us more about the book.
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